Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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