I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
