If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize