This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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