i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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