this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
