You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
