Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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