Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
