i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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