i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
