im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
