Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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