Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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