I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
