Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
