Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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