Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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