Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
