i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
