no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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