You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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