this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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