His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
