I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
