dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
