I'm going to jail i love you
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize