CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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