I love black thongs
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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