I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
