She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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