Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
