i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The struggles of a small town man whore
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
