I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
