i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
