i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
