You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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