Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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