Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
