Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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