Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
