Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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