the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize