If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
