even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize