I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
