why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
do herpes really smell.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
