office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
