I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
