Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
