My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
