i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
People in love make me want to vomit
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
