Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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