You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
