I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
