if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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