never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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