just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you had me at cake vodka
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
