You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
