she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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