Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I supernannyed him into submission
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
