It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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