Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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