...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
