Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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