What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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