he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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