In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
