My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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