what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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